Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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