this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
