My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
