The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
worst night to have a conscience
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
