I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
