what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
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I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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