I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
