My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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