I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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