She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
lets start a swedish sibling band together
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
