I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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