yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
