Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
