Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
