I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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