Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
