She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize