is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
