you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
