There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
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Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
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I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
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