Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
