i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
