Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
