yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I cannot find my penis.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
