sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize