evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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