We're like a lot better than the average bears
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
