brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
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woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
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Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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