I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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