ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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