Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
