Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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