when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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