Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
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He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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