Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
