So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
