There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
