I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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