Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
