The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
