"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
