You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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