Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
