I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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