I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
