Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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