Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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