Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
