I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
