She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
