Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize