So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
