she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
