My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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