hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You are the jesus of drinking
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
