he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
