Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
