I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
