I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
